Disclaimer: This blog post uses strong language, and contains the word 'bozo'.
What is a fucking blog anyway?
I mean. I've had one before. But I don't really know why. Who the hell are they for? And who reads them?
To me, drawing from my limited understanding of the subject, there are two main types of blog. There is the blog to inform and educate, a hub to provide the unknowing reader (who quite clearly has far too much time on their hands) with all the necessary facts surrounding one principal topic (cars, film, Cheryl Cole… the list is endless). And then secondly, there is the 'random compilation of stuff I have seen and done' blog; an endless library of useless factoids put together by equally useless bozos to whom the height of excitement is the release of a brand new operating system, which of course they have to try out, pick holes in, and then complain on an internet forum because that's where bozos congregate. It and they are litter for the digital age.
So I guess I'm a bozo then because this is exactly that type of blog. It's a littery work as opposed to a literary one. It is a journal of arbitrary stuff and things observed by myself and systematically noted down within a pre-set framework.
If you like this kind of stuff then by all means read on. If you don't, well sod off. If you have come here by mistake and have an overwhelming sense of ambivalence (that's the presence of two opposing ideas – in this case like and dislike) I would whole-heartedly suggest reading what else I have to say in an attempt to resolve this deep personal inner-conflict that you feel. If you are not reading this then… well… what is the point in my writing of this sentence? Interestingly, I would wager my unborn children, my lungs and a small orphanage that most people will fit in to that final category.
I am going to sign off now. I only came here to tell the world that I have a new blog, and I believe I have achieved that spectacularly.
That, and I really need the toilet.
Jack 'Blogger' Green
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